Alternatives to Positive Thinking

By Mike Scantlebury

We all know the situation, it happens on the TV News every night. The person who's just been flooded out; or seen their house disappear off the end of a cliff or been burnt to the ground; or had a child kidnapped or ransomed; is asked by the interviewer with the intrusive microphone: "How do you feel?" In England, and America, we are all expecting the usual result. They will be brave. Despite being frightened, angry, lost, ignored or assaulted, we anticipate that they will gulp, take a deep breath and tell us how things will be better in the morning; they will pick themselves up, dust themselves off and start all over again; they will soldier on, and it isn't the end. No matter what the disaster, for some reason we expect people in the West to be universally brave and looking forward in a positive way. After years of having it drummed into them, losers, victims and worse are always expected to 'think positive'. Why? What comfort can you derive from a hurricane, a forest fire or a plane crash? Okay, it's true, they might feel better after a good night's sleep, but can't they be allowed to shriek, shout and complain - just the once?

Perhaps the reason that such 'positive thinking' is being fostered in schools, home and in numerous self-help books, is that it doesn't come naturally to many in the population. How many times have you had the experience of hearing a colleague is due for promotion, only to ask them and they dolefully reply, 'I suppose it means more responsibility, more work, longer hours'. But you'll get more money, you say. 'I'll be paying more taxes', they say, or 'Well, it might help but it won't pay off my credit card'. Sound familiar? Yes, 'negative thinking' comes naturally to lots of people, and if thermostat hadn't been so resolutely switched to 'positive' by years of harsh training and exhortation, it might be the natural state for most of us.

It's false, says Oliver James, the psychiatrist, in his new book 'Affluenza'. Worse, it's certainly not natural. In other parts of the world, such as China, it is quite usual to see the bad side of events, and, he suggests, thanks to Confucianism, quite okay to see both the positive and negative in everything - Yin and Yang, and all that. Contrary to Western expectations, it doesn't make people down and defeated. Quite the contrary, it simply means that these people are a little more realistic about life, and can recover from setbacks more easily, knowing that neither bad or good is more prevalent, and a tragedy today is no indicator that tomorrow will be the same or worse. Sunshine and showers, it's all good, all part of the fabric of life, and putting on 'rose coloured glasses' doesn't make the world a better place, or even make it easier to bear.

If there's a role for stressing the positive, says James, it's not in thinking but in planning. If you want to plan your future, then it helps to imagine that things will generally come out better than they are today, and may even be a lot better. That doesn't mean lose yourself in unreality, or fail to appreciate when things go wrong. But it's a pre-requisite of believing that such things are worthwhile, to want to look forward and put ideas together for building that vision. In other words, don't bother with 'positive thinking', you don't need it. Just stick to 'positive planning', and it will get you where you want to go.

That, he concludes, will be a big weight off your mind. Instead of bravely smiling through, putting a positive gloss on everything that happens, good or bad, you can focus on what you want and put your efforts into making it happen rather than interpreting reality in only a positive light. After all, he says, that's the ultimate measure anyway, isn't it? If you're determined and set on a path to great wealth, fame, fortune, or any of the other things that people in the West hanker after, the real test is in the bank account, the size of your house or car. It won't do to have a smaller car but be 'thinking positively' about it. At the end of the day, it isn't the thinking that's important at all. It's the action, and anything that moves you forward towards your goal is good, in fact 'positive'. That doesn't mean that 'negative' is bad, of course, in action terms, because your path may very well be a cross-country course, with hurdles, walls and hedges to clamber over, hills to climb and streams to ford. To get there, you need to stretch and make the effort, but above all, know that you've got a plan to reach the finish line. It's that 'positive plan' that helps you reach your goal, not the time and effort invested in 'positive thinking' along the way.

Mike Scantlebury is an Internet Author and a pain in the ass. You say up and he says down. You say right and he says left. Can't the man agree on anything? No, he likes to provoke, to challenge and to encourage. Read more on one of his many websites or look for his books, to download or buy, (Amazon or Lulu). The website starts here. http://www.mikescantlebury.biz

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