How To Deal With Angry People: A Survival Guide

By Dr Tony Fiore

Dealing with angry people in our society is becoming increasingly challenging. Some days, it seems anger surrounds us at home, in the workplace, on the roadways, and at sports events. It is easy to get caught up in an escalating spiral of angry exchanges which usually upsets everyone and does nothing to improve communication or solve the problem at hand.

As an alternative, this survival guide is designed to provide practical tips on how to deal with two types of angry people in your life: (1) explosive people who might be dangerous and (2) people who are chronically angry toward you.

PART 1- EIGHT TIPS TO DEAL WITH EXPLOSIVE PERSONS WHO CONFRONT YOU: DEFUSING POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS SITUATIONS:

1.Do not respond in kind. Hostility often begets more hostility.

Respond instead with a non-hostile message to defuse people who are behaving in a hostile manner toward you. The classic example of this is in when simple inconsiderate driving or even aggressive driving suddenly escalates into road rage due to two drivers ratcheting up hostility in response to the other’s hostile acts, words, or gestures.

Please remember that in these and other hostile situations, you contribute somewhat to the outcome by your decision to return hostility or not.

2.Take their upset seriously and validate their feelings.

Listen to what they have to say and hear them out; ignoring them or minimizing their feelings will tend to escalate their anger further. There have been untold numbers of workplace violence incidents that could have been averted had supervisors or managers listened with empathy to disgruntled employees rather than responding in an insensitive, or uncaring manner.

3.Never argue with someone when they are intoxicated.

When someone is drinking or intoxicated, this is no time to try to solve relationship or other problems (especially if you too have had a few drinks). A high percentage of angry confrontations as well spousal abuse arrests occur when drinking is involved by one or both partners. Drinking often impairs judgment, decreases inhibitions (resulting in saying things we don’t mean), and distorts your normally astute reasoning ability.

4.Respond to the feelings they are having- not the content of what they are saying.

Try to hear and respond to the underlying hurt or pain the person is experiencing underneath the angry words. Use statements such as "I can appreciate why you feel that way," "It sounds like you are very angry right now," "Many people feel the way you do."

5.On roadway, don’t make eye contact with an aggressive driver.

This is the secret signal in the animal world to engage in combat and will frequently escalate things, sometimes into "road rage." Just ignore aggressive drivers and stay out of their way.

6.Allow angry people to physically escape the situation.

Don’t block their way or prevent egress, or you may be putting yourself in a dangerous situation. Take off the heat rather than increasing the pressure! Don’t insist on solving the problem “now” when the other person is in an agitated state.

7.Don’t defend yourself by attacking back at them or their character flaws.

Defensiveness often escalates anger in the other person and, in fact, is one of the predictors of divorce, according to recent marital research. There is a time to present your side, but not when your partner is unable to hear it due to his or her anger.

8.Don’t try to solve an emotional issue with logical arguments.

Trying to diffuse an angry person with overwhelming evidence of their thinking errors or mistakes in logic, or facts to the contrary, or reasons for why they shouldn’t feel the way they do, or why they should feel differently - usually makes the situation worse.

Part 2- HOW TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO ARE CHRONICALLY ANGRY TOWARD YOU.

1.Consider changing your behavior that triggers their anger.

Sometimes the most practical thing to do is to change whatever it is that triggers anger in people close to you. Not that you should go overboard on this, but simple changes can do a lot, especially if they don’t lower your self-esteem or don’t “cost” you a lot to change.

2.Think about terminating the relationship.

Truth is, some relationships we get involved in are so "toxic" that it is self-abusive to continue in them or to try and repair them. At times, you need to protect yourself from people in your life who create an atmosphere that is not good for your well-being.

3.Limit your time spent with them.

If terminating the relationship is too drastic of a step, consider simply limiting the time you spend with toxic people in your life. Decide you can put up with the person several times a year at the family Christmas party, for instance, or that you will be tolerant toward your angry ex-spouse once a week for the sake of your children.

4.Ask them directly why they are often appear angry toward you.

A straight line is the shortest distance between two points. Sometimes the quickest way to find out why someone appears constantly angry with you is to simply ask them. They may not even realize they were communicating angrily toward you, so your inquiry may open up a great opportunity for dialogue.

5.Communicate clearly how their negativity affects you.

Honestly letting people know how their behavior is affecting you emotionally is often an "eye-opener" to the other person. Start with "I feel" statements rather than "you" or "you should" statements.

6.Adjust your expectations of them.

People may be chronically angry toward you because you communicate that they are disappointing you in some way and they are perceiving you as overly critical. Adjusting those expectations you have toward others may result in their being less angry toward you!

7.Stop trying to solve unsolvable problems in a relationship.

According to some marital researchers, up to 60% of issues in a relationship are unsolvable due to the couple’s being “gridlocked” around it. Trying to solve unsolvable problems creates much anger. Instead, find a way to dialogue about the issues and live with each other around them, rather than trying to fix them.

8.Suggest ways to remedy anger, if the other person acknowledges he or she has an anger problem.

If the angry person in your life is open to it, suggest an evaluation by a psychologist or physician to determine what the problem is. There are many underlying problems such as Depression, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Bipolar Disorder, and other conditions which can lead to anger problems. Often, anger management classes are recommended in addition to treatment of an underlying problem.

Author's Bio: Dr Tony Fiore is a licensed psychologist, marital therapist and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach, offer classes, programs, and products to individuals and couples, including an innovative online anger management program. Dr Fiore can be reached at 714-771-0378 or visit his website at http://www.angercoach.com/

A Good Attitude Towards Bad Temper Control

By Charlie xiao

One of the bases of temper control is a good attitude. A good attitude towards temper control can make it easier to build a good temper entirely. At the same time, all the matured persons almost all have a correct and good attitude.

Tag: temper control, good temper, attitude towards temper control, build a good temper

We all want to keep a good state. Bad Temper has brought us a lot of vexation, and bad temper will let you lose control of yourself, make you doubt your ability. The matter which is especially bad for you is that if many and many times you lost control of yourself to burst out, you will be in a deeply bad emotion: you want to get improved, while the results seem always beyond your ability. Will you ask yourself such a question: do I burn with a bad temper gene?

We always say that a mellow person will not easily lose temper. In fact, controlling temper well is one of the characters of a mellow person. Living in the world, we have to face many many things, some are good and some are bad for us. Even the good things may come in different forms to us. There is a good saying says that everything is a best arrangement. Perhaps it looks like a no worse thing for you, but there is still some good for you in the meanings of this thing, and the secret is that the good will come sooner or later if you have seen them.

Building a good temper is possible even if you feel you are born with a bad temper gene. But it really needs some period and practice to achieve this goal. In the view of NLP, a bad temper mainly because you have experienced some solutions using temper tantrum to deal with things, perhaps from your parents when you are child, from yourself before, from your friends, or from your family. The experiences from the childhood are especially important to form a good temper or bad temper. A bad temper is not formed in one step, and accordingly, a good temper can¡¯t either.

I have introduced a effective way to control temper tantrum in :. The main idea is to help you form a good temper in the future, detail to say, it helps you be well prepared for the ¡°bad¡± things in your view and provides you a better solution in advance. There are only several steps, but it will be really effective when you make a decision to carry on these steps. One time is not enough, you need more. Then you will find you control your temper better than before: you can wholly control your temper or you have delayed the eruption of temper tantrum.

Extended reading:child temper control;philosophic story on boy temper control ;Easy steps to control temper

Author's Bio: 52success.net - a website built with joomla, concentrating on original and free resource on personal improvement.

52success.net's motto is "make the progress day by day, you are the best!", if you love reading, want to get improved to make progress in your life, Please come here to find what you want.

How A Positive Attitude Can Change The World Around You

By Daniel Alan

Outlines how to start thinking more positive and what a dramatic effect it can have in your day to day life.

I am going to ask you to something very weird right now. First of all, I want you to listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive, or negative?

Now let's say you are walking down the street with these thoughts. Do you think anyone who would meet you would be able to tell you whats on your mind?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling.

Here's another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too - unless, of course, you are a great actor.

And it doesn't end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.

Negative thoughts on the other hand have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake.

A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude.

You have much to gain from a very positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others are around feel the same way.

A negative attitude, on the other hand, has, of course, an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to feature healthy thoughts. This is probably very hard to do nowadays since, all around us, the media feeds us nothing but negative thoughts. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly a saddening thought.

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from the negative things around us, you can still carry a positive attitude by focusing on the good things, the positive things in life.

And this positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the thing people mostly do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is somebody to sit by them, and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say anything.

If positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may be actually sending a signal for attention. Before you get me wrong, feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong itself. But dwelling on these thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome.

You do not have much to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what's not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.

Article Source: http://www.ArticlesAlley.com/

About the Author: Daniel Alan is the creator of the Perfect Path To Wealth system which helps people around the world attain their financial dreams. He is an expert at making money online and he motivates people around the country with his speaking.

11 Great Ways to be Positive about Change

By Martin Haworth

Look for the positives! Seek them out - those little scary places that it's challenging to let yourself go to - the positives are genuinely scary, because they give you hope and it's hard to let go of all the fears you have right now - so hanging onto them is the easiest path!So try letting yourself go, just for the heck of it!Take that step back from being 'done to' and take the initiative. At work, at home or wherever, this can be a great time, if you let it. There are loads of ideas why. Here are eleven of my favourites...

Personal Growth

Change gives us great moments for self-development and personal growth. It is in times where there is a lot going on, where we have to get out of our box to think, even when change is imposed, that we move forward.

Involving Others

During change periods we can create relationships that are new - and we, as managers, have a great chance to bring others into our confidence and into our network.

Adventure

There is something about change, large or small which creates 'something different' from our routine day. This is pretty cool really. We are being provided with stimulating mental exercise to make the best of things happening differently. It might not look that way, but change brings adventure!

Building it in

Learning about big changes, means that we can closely observe why those changes are necessary. We have to make radical changes because we have strayed well off course. So as we learn, we can make provision to have some minor course corrections rather than completely the wrong destination.

Challenge

In his great book, 'The Inner Game of Work', Timothy Gallwey talks about the fine balance between security and challenge being what gets people motivated. By creating new things to learn, to do, we stretch our people - and ourselves.

Opportunity

Change brings new opportunity. For learning; for understanding ourselves better; for new perspectives; for different roles. These can be grasped personally or they can be dwelt on miserably. The better choice is to go for it!

Team Bonding

Change exercises, big and small can be great to develop a team. Where there is the opportunity to work together, manager with their closest people there are often places, moments where the team spirit; the trust and the shared commitment - the 'Dunkirk spirit' even, enables future potential of a team to be loosened.

Honesty

Where radical change proves necessary it enlightens those involved that where they are is not where they need to be. Carrying out a review of why serious change is necessary and seeking the real truth is very revealing. The icing on the cake for those involved in organisational change processes is to create a feedback loop that renders future major change unnecessary.

Choice

Change is not truly necessary. Change is about choice. You have the choice whether to accept it positively or not. It is your choice and everyone has that - believe it or not. No-one is holding you down to prevent you getting away. Take personal responsibility for the choices you make.

Focus

Change gives the opportunity for and usually gets really down to the gist of the issues that have precipitated the need. This is good. Your organisation is realising that things need to be different, for all sorts of reasons, but usually for the health of the organisation and that means you, usually. For some it may mean loss of role, status and even job - now what positive opportunity does that bring!

Passion

And finally, we have the opportunity to review our own roles, not just in the workplace, but in life too. Are you passionate about your work - or are you just muddling through? Are new opportunities presented to you personally through change - within or without the place where you work today? What is your personal passion and how do you work towards making that how you spend every day of your life?

Hey change can be fun, if you let it be. You life can be a straight line, and if you saw that one ER, what would it mean...

Martin Haworth is a Business and Management Coach. He works worldwide, mainly by phone, with small business owners, managers and corporate leaders. He has hundreds of hints, tips and ideas at his website, http://www.coaching-businesses-to-success.com. (Note to editors. Feel free to use this article, wherever you think it might be of value - it would be good if you could include a live link)...helping you, to help your people, to help your business grow...

The Top Ten Ways To Be Positive In The Workplace Of Life

Riger-Hull

There is a growing volume of research that shows' staying positive is better for your health; you can cope better with stress. It's better for relationships; you keep from judging people and getting the bad habit of gossiping. It takes much more energy to be negative, always worrying, thinking of the " what if's", the "should's". Being positive, living in the present will lighten your life and the mood of others around you.

1. Attitude is everything. It is the lens that you look through to experience your reality. Take a look at your attitude. Are you negative? Do you color everything with fear or need? How will your life change if you change your attitude?

2. Treat people with kindness and respect. Everyone that you encounter should be valued, treated with courtesy. Acknowledge that they have feelings and their own perspective on life, they may be different than yours but they are also valid.

3. Avoid comparison- whether you are looking down at the people who have not mastered special strengths or up at people who may be more experienced or accomplished. Constantly comparing yourself keeps the focus on the other person instead of what you can do, want to do, and are good at doing. Look inside and improve from there.

4. Take responsibility for your work, actions, and life? Don't pass the buck. Don't make excuses. Take responsibility; acknowledge a mistake fix it and learn from it. Don't beat yourself up about the mistake, or hang onto past mistakes. Resolve them, own them and move forward. Today.

5. That doesn't work for me. Keep this in mind when someone offers a put down. When they cross your boundaries. Your worth comes from you; your being, your true self. They cannot change your intrinsic value unless you let them. Make it clear that what they are doing doesn't work for you, keep your boundaries and move forward.

6. Respect other people's time and boundaries. If you are having a bad day, feeling stuck, or you are just enjoying procrastinating. Make sure you don't use that as an excuse to waste other people's time or cross their boundaries. Time is the most valuable thing we have. If you feel like wasting your time that's your decision but don't waste other people's time.

7. Make a "what I have accomplished list". Too often people make huge to-do lists and then beat themselves up when they have only accomplished a few things on the list. Keep your master list of what you want to accomplish so you don't forget things that are important to you, but keep a second list you update daily. Each day keep a specific list of all the things you did and how much time you spent on each thing. You'll know where the day went, can feel good about what you did accomplish and see where you need to focus, to get what's most important to you, done.

8. Take notice of the people around you; co-workers, customers, clients, vendors, and other people you come in contact with each day. Acknowledge what they are contributing and don't take them for granted. Thank them for buying from you, for their help, their value to the relationship, and for a job well done.

9. Enjoy the little things that happen in your day. The compliment someone gave you on the insight you shared at the staff meeting. The big smile the customer gave you when they picked up their order. By recognizing your accomplishments even if they seem small or routine, you are acknowledging a job well done.

10. Coming from a positive attitude and perspective you will feel more in control. Consider each job and interaction as your best performance, rather than just running them together as part of your day. You will see the impact you have and the value you offer. People will be attracted to this. They will notice how well you do things and they will truly value you.

About The Author: ©BZ Riger-Hull. Author of The Soul of Success http://www.in-spiros.com For valuable free articles, mailto:A1@smartautoresponder.com Certified as a Success Coach, "Four Agreements" Facilitator, & Tele-Course leader We help you communicate powerfully, reduce stress, Strategically Attract success, & increase your financial well-being. Our coaching programs and Tele-Courses give you the Tools you need to Succeed.

bz@in-spiros.com

Prisoner of Attitude

By Dayo Olomu

"Thinking is responsible for man's primacy on earth today. Existence is therefore co-terminus with thinking. The ability to out-think the other fellow, a friend or a foe, is the pathway to victory and success in life." - Dr Nnamdi Azikiwe in his book 'Renascent Africa.'

I am an incurable optimist. I believe that with faith, hope, hard work, perseverance and persistent, we can achieve all our desired goals and aspirations in life. I believe that to everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the sun, and when the time and season comes we must make the best use of it. I believe that we must put in our best in everything and leave the rest to God. I believe that life is not all that bed of roses because if life were all one unbroken symphony of success, success would itself become boring and as agonising as adversity.

I believe that we must go through some sort of pains, travails, disappointments and tear-filled experiences to make us grow in our faith. I believe God loves all of us and hates nobody, because the thought God has for us are thoughts of peace and not evil, to give us a future and a hope.

Finally, I believe that God gives each and everyone of us talents and opportunities and how we make use of them determines what we become in life. There are certain things God will not do for us because He has given us the intelligence to care for ourselves. But this is a matter of individual's choice because freedom of choice has been the backbone of human race in a given society; either in a supportive or non-supportive environment. Sometimes the environment never made us a prisoner but we are prisoners of our attitude and our thinking. Some of us have a negative attitude to life; hence we refuse to make use of our talents and the various opportunities that come our ways in life.

Keem Bello-Osagie is one of the most respected Nigerians of his generation who became the Chairman of United Bank of Africa (UBA) at a relatively young age. When he was asked in a recent interview the secret of his success and the moving factor, he said: "Each person is given a set of talents by God and it is your responsibility to develop those talents to the very maximum. Talent is important but opportunity is equally important and I must say I've been lucky to have had opportunities and I've tried to make the best use of the opportunities."

The question is: Have we made use of the talents and the opportunities God bestowed on us? What choice are we making in life? Our yesterday determines today. Today, we are the products of what we did or neglected yesterday. If you continue to do what you did yesterday today, I mean if you maintain the status quo, then the future is predictable, and for the most part, the future is not bright because if we keep doing what we always do, we will keep getting the same thing we have always gotten.

So many people believe that if God wanted them to be successful, He will make them successful. What they don't know is that what God does is to give you everything that will make you successful: wisdom, talents, resources, people, opportunities, time etc, it is how you make use of these gifts from God and the choices you make that will determine your success in life.

From our fingerprints to our thoughts pattern, each one of us is a unique creature; although behavioural research shows that people fall into two general categories. In their book, "Relax, Dealing with Stress", Authors Watts & Coppers call these categories internal and external to show how much parental influence affects our ability to direct our lives.

According to Watts & Copper: "Internals are people who see themselves as having control over events and the choices they make. An internal is likely to have come from a background that valued individuality, encouraged a healthy degree of risk-taking and experimentation, viewed change with curiosity and excitement and taught how to approach disappointment in a constructive way. As a result, internals learn to trust talents, judgement and ideas. Crucially, they form the conviction that their life will be what they decide to make it. Externals, on the other hand, tend to feel that other people, the environment and circumstances outside themselves, decide their lives. They might have been subjected to constant criticism, or surrounded by an atmosphere that expected failure."

I believe in the principle of cause and effect, which says that for every effect in our lives, there is a specific cause. We have the ability to control the causes and change the effects to any thing we want. It depends on the choices we make. Our thoughts and attitudes are the primary causes of the conditions of effects in our lives and if we wish our lives to be different in the future, we have to change our thinking in the present.

In the spiritual law, it is called the principle of sowing and reaping. Our harvest in life is based solely on the seed that we have sown. Therefore we are the reason we are where we are. In my native law, according to my mother (Florence), the principle is 'as you lay your bed so you lie on it.'

Life is what we make out of it. Nobody can live it for us except ourselves. The acceptance of total responsibility for our lives is the hallmark of maturity in human beings. The acceptance of responsibility means that from then on in life, we have no more excuses. Walter Begehot opined that "it is often said that men are ruled by their imagination, but it would be truer to say that they are governed by the weakness of their imagination." We learn from our mistakes and mistakes of others. Ebino Topsy affirmed that "those who do not learn from history are doomed to relive it."

By accessing our strengths and using them, we can establish an outlook that is both positive and dynamic. Make things happen rather than waiting passively to see what 'fate and destiny' delivers to our door. When we make commitments to better our condition emotionally, intellectually, mentally and spiritually we are making a lifetime resolution and bidding bye to being a prisoner of attitude.

Dayo Olomu is a UK-based Motivational Speaker, Writer, Business/Life Coach, Trainer, Media Entrepreneur and Competent Toastmaster. His core belief is that we are all endowed with seeds of greatness, and his mission is to help individuals and organisations achieve their full potentials. He is the author of best selling "4 Indispensable Strategies for Success" and the President of Croydon Communicators Toastmasters. Get his FREE monthly Rise to the Top ezine by sending a blank email to subscribe@dayoolomu.com or visit his website at: www.dayoolomu.com

Think Positive: Using Affirmations to Create Health, Wealth and Beauty

By Laura M. Turner

You've heard the buzzwords: Attitude is everything! Change your perspective! Have a positive outlook! But, can these words really change our future? And if so, how?

In my childhood and adolescence, I was skeptical. If my brother was born without being able to walk - how could my attitude or outlook change anything?

As I got older I continued to reflect on a youth seemingly filled with disappointments and doubts. And in talking to my friends and family, I realized I wasn't alone; we've all experienced them. Then, I started taking a good, long look at myself and my feelings:
I realized that my deepest feelings were the ones guiding me forward; challenging me to reach to the depth of what I was able to feel - happy or sad - and allowed me to explore the dimensions of my being.

So, why do I share this with you? Through all the laughs, disappointment and sorrow I've learned: We can use the power of our feelings to build a stronger, happier, positive life. I've also discovered a secret way to facilitate this process: Affirmations.

How Affirmations Work

How do affirmations work? They are a simple exercise that can tap you in to this positive, creative part of yourself.

This place is free from your ego (the part of all of us that is a leaky tire in constant need of being filled up from outside sources).

Affirmations are different. They allow you to tap into the secret, powerful, depths of yourself and care for your being by affirming what is there.

Do you feel a calling toward a particular feeling you have been having? Is there something in your life that you need and desire to manifest?

If you can use you mind's eye to creatively visualize you can bring forward all that you desire. How? Simply by "affirming" that it is already here.

Creating Affirmations

The key to the success of an affirmation is its potential or the potentiality of your creative thought.

The laws of the universe will respond then not to your "asking" for what you wish - for it does not respond to begging or supplication. The universe responds to affirming statements:

I AM BEAUTIFUL!
I AM HEALTHY!
I AM KIND AND LOVING!

Thus, it takes the ideas of creative visualization one step further. It takes a picture from inside your head, a "thought" and creates a statement about this thought in a "word" or verbal format.

Take some time to affirm what is in your heart. What do you wish for? Choose an affirming statement to focus on and place your attention on it:

I AM ABUNDANT!
I AM LOVED!
Applying An Affirmation

So how to make the laws of affirmation work in your life? Let's focus for a moment on the "word" aspect of this "thought, word and action" process.

The words "I am" are a very powerful tool. These words, once again, exceed the ego. "I AM" tells the universe to put the wheels of energy in motion. It tells the universe you are ready to receive your prayer.

Already you can see the importance of this process. I AM Beautiful!

If I write this on an index card and place it in my pocket, write it several times in my notebook, say it out loud to myself: What happens? I manifest beauty! I feel beautiful.

Waiting The Results In Peace

Once you have affirmed and written you intentions and spoken them, the "action" needs to come from you. Think: If I already had the thing I wished for, what would I do?

For example: if I am beautiful - I need to ask myself: Am I wearing beautiful clothing? Is my make-up on? Am I honoring my body with exercise and nutrition? And if not: I need to take a long look at how I am treating myself - If I wasn't feeling beautiful before, perhaps treating myself better is what I need to heal.

Take a moment today to focus on what you need to heal. Then apply the Thought - Word - Action process. I think you will find it to be a powerful tool.

For more information on the beauty of affirmations please check out Louise Hay's Power Thought Cards: http://www.hayhouse.com/

Also highly recommended is Dr. Wayne W. Dyers book "There's a Spiritual Solution To Every Problem." A great read.

Remember: Affirm, take action and "wait the results in peace." Continue to remain open to receive and I think you will find that that your blessings will far exceed your expectations.

About The Author: Laura M. Turner is a certified personal trainer and Editor-At-Large of the New Body News eZine. The eZine dedicated to building a better YOU! See the latest edition and subscribe for free: http://www.new-body-news.com/

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Anchoring Positivity With NLP

Adam Eason

There was some sunshine this weekend while I was writing this! At least here on the sunny south coast of England there was. I went out walking along the sea front with my partner Sara on Saturday morning and it was wonderful; the feeling of sunshine on my face, the smell of the air, the sites of other people out and about and happy, the local land train was shuttling people and their excited children back and forth from Bournemouth pier to Boscombe Pier and my senses were filled - a major event for human neurophysiology (mine anyway!)

The funny thing is, later on that evening when my friends were joking about my pink coloured forehead, I told them that I was really looking forward to summer and as I spoke, I felt the sun on me, imagined the fun I was going to have on the beach, remembered the smell, the amazing feeling of joy that I get from being there, just by anticipating it all.

A natural phenomenon we can replicate with NLP techniques. NLP stands for neuro-linguistic programming, which is just a methodology for helping make changes. We shorten it to NLP for easy understanding.

Without realising it, the time I had spent on the sea front earlier that day had acted as an anchor for the wonderful experience which immediately followed it. The next time I saw & heard the experience, albeit in my mind, my neurology went "I know what happens now" and started to produce the intense physical responses that it 'knew' were coming next.

In the field of NLP, an anchor is any representation in the human nervous system that triggers any other representation. For instance, the word 'sex' will immediately trigger images, sounds etc associated with that word. The word 'chocolate' will trigger different associations. I am not too sure which of those will create the most intense feelings though! These words are anchors. Anchors do not have to be words, they can be a wide range of things.

With NLP, we identify that anchors can operate in any representational system (ie. sight, sound, feeling, smell, taste.) Let me give you some examples;

Tonal: By that, I mean for example, the special way a certain person has of saying your name, like when a friend or family member says it. My mother shouting my name from the depths of my home when I was a child often signalled the fact that she had discovered something that I had done that meant trouble for me! "Adam!" often made me feel what I was in store for.

Tactile: The effect of a certain type of handshake for example, or the sensation of a reassuring hug compared to a loving cuddle. Rekindles all kinds of wonderful feelings.

Visual: The way people respond to certain items of clothing. I recently had lunch with a group of my friends from the town where I grew up and several of them commented on the jacket I was wearing. Now, whenever they see it, it reminds them of those comments and makes them smile.

Olfactory: Like when you smell a certain kind of food being cooked can suddenly have you remembering a time when you were in the school cafeteria.

Gustatory: The taste of your favourite food or the way certain foods can make you remember how you felt when you had it before. Maybe like when you were given soup and a big helping of love and sympathy when you were young and off school because you were poorly. I know every time I eat Heinz Tomato soup it reminds me of just that.

Once again, in the field of NLP, an anchor is any representation in the human nervous system that triggers any other representation. It is conceptually similar to Pavlovian conditioning (ie. bells and salivating dogs; some of Pavlovs findings feature in the field of NLP.

While the anchor I created for the sea front was unintentional, it is possible for you to use this NLP tecnique to anchor yourself intentionally. Have a go at this and learn this NLP technique for yourself??

Fistly, think of an occasion when you had a highly pleasurable, positive or enjoyable experience. See what you saw then (looking out through your own eyes), hear what you heard and feel what you felt. As you feel the sensations increase in intensity, squeeze the thumb & forefinger of your left hand gently together for a few moments, then release them. Now 'break your state' (Eg. by remembering what you had for lunch yesterday.) Squeeze your thumb & forefinger together again, gently pulsing them. The state will return.

To make the most of anchoring with NLP, it is important to really engage in the experience and make it wonderfully vivid in your mind and to then also put effort into recalling it when you first activate your NLP anchor for a few times. Imagine how powerful this can be when you want to feel wonderful if you are home, feeling gloomy. Instead of reaching for the chocolate, you can start to activate your "feel good" anchor.

Every time you want to get motivated to exercise, just activate your enthusiasm anchor. It is a really simple technique of NLP.

This is a simple but powerful NLP technique that can enable you to have access to the states and resources you want, when you want them. The use of thumb & forefinger is an example of a tactile anchor, but you can use any representation to anchor something for yourself or someone else.

Guidelines for setting anchors with NLP;

In order to get a 'strong' anchor for an experience, it is important to

a) Ensure that you have a powerful example of the experience to work with.

b) Anchor in as many representational systems as possible (visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, etc).

c) Set the anchor just before the experience peaks.

d) When you activate the anchor, do it accurately. Be precise!

e) With tactile (kinaesthetic) anchors, pulsing the anchor can help to maintain the experience

One of the people who came on one of my NLP training courses was particularly taken with the idea of anchoring. Shortly after the NLP training, one morning his wife offered to make him a cup of tea, and as she did so, he gently tapped the side of his cup with his ring. He repeated this the next few times she made him a cup of tea. After a while, all he had to do was tap the side of his cup subtly with his ring & she would spontaneously offer to get him a cup of tea!! Very Naughty use of NLP, Eh?! Just by creating a sensory representation (tapping the cup) that coincided with her making tea, he was soon able to use that representation as a trigger for what he wanted. He did eventually share his NLP anchoring experience with his wife and you can be sure he makes a lot more tea than she does now!

Now I know that by now some of you may be thinking "But isn't that manipulative?!?" One answer is "Yes, so use it for doing good stuff!" Another answer is "no." It is no more manipulative than making yourself look good and smell nice when you go out. In those situations you are trying to get people to think the best of you and have a good response to you, a response that you are attempting to anchor through your choice of clothing, grooming and smelly perfume.

Here are some of the sorts of things that I go out of my way to use NLP to anchor whenever I see them or experience them:

- Smiles.

- Laughter.

- Excitement

- Confidence

- Good feelings

- Good performance (especially by waiters & waitresses!)

- Anything that looks good, useful or fun; Achievement and success are especially useful for stopping smoking, reducing weight or growing in confidence.
It's happening all the time anyway:

As I said at the beginning, anchoring with NLP is a naturally occurring phenomenon anyway. You are exposed to it all the time in everything you do. Everyone is doing this stuff all the time, often without really knowing it. All I am inviting you to do is to become conscious of the anchors that you and others are setting (maybe using NLP), and to start using them purposefully to get good results, rather than randomly to get whatever you get. Use NLP with mindfulness.

Taking this a step further;

Recently, I was working with a team of related staff members with regards to doing some NLP consulting with them. I asked them how they would know that the two days had been a great success. One of them said it would have a 'feel good factor' and simultaneously made a gesture with both hands towards his tummy. When I repeated the words 'feel good factor' to him, he nodded in confirmation. Later on, I referred to the feel good factor, and simultaneously used his gesture. Instead of a nod of confirmation, I got a full physiological response, including skin colour changes, posture and energy changes?the full works. His words had been a good anchor, but the words plus the gesture were far more complete. When I used both, I got a full response. I continued to use the anchor throughout the consultation. At no time was he aware that I was using NLP & his anchors - he just had the experience of being really well understood.

You can use NLP anchors to capture and re-use positive experiences for yourself & others. Now have a go at doing this NLP exercise too?

1) Think of an occasion when you had a highly pleasurable, positive or enjoyable experience. See what you saw then (looking out through your own eyes), hear what you heard and feel what you felt. As you feel the sensations increase in intensity, squeeze the thumb & forefinger of your left hand gently together for a few moments, then release them. Now 'break your state' (Eg. by remembering what shoe you put on first today.) Squeeze your thumb & forefinger together again, gently pulsing them. The state will return.

2) Identify something that someone you know already does, and create a subtle anchor. Set the anchor while they are doing the activity. Later, fire your NLP anchor and see what happens. If they do the thing you anchored, then it worked!

3) When you (or someone you are with) are experiencing something you want to have more of, anchor it.

As usual, remember that this stuff is powerful so use your NLP skills wisely. As well, allow yourself to start becoming aware of when it is being used on you. Advertisers, politicians and stand-up comedians all know the power of NLP anchors and use them with great cunning (and to great effect.) Awareness with NLP is the key - have fun.

Copyright 2005 Adam Eason. All Rights Reserved.

Adam Eason is an author, consultant, trainer and motivational speaker in the fields of hypnosis, NLP, personal development and human potential. His website is filled with information, stimulating articles, resources and uniques products.

Visit to also receive a free, unique hypnosis session, instantly downloadable, to enjoy in the comfort of your own home.

Positive Living Through Positive Thinking

By Raquel Smith

Do you yearn to live a fulfilled life? Do you feel like life has thrown you a curve ball? We all have answered yes to either one of these questions at some point in our lives. Some of us may still be answering yes to one or maybe both of those questions. The good news is you can live a fulfilled life. You can still bat a home-run with a curve ball thrown at you. There is a popular saying that goes like this, "when life gives you lemon make lemonade." That is exactly what you do and more by living a positive life through positive thinking.

You may ask, what is positive thinking? It is simply a mindset. That means, you will always find the good in every situation. No matter what is happening to you, you remain optimistic and know that all is well. Remember, as long as there is life, there is hope. I am sure you have come across people who always have a smile no matter what. Then, there are others who always seem so grouchy. I know you don't have to think twice about which one you prefer to be around. Here is the key, this is where positive thinking comes into play. The person who always says I have no money is constantly broke. The person who believes their needs will be supplied, always gets their needs met.

The fact is not about what we go through but our attitudes and thoughts about what we are going through. We must have a positive mental attitude in order to live a fulfilled life. We cannot be successful in life with a negative attitude. Negative attitude draws negative situations and failures into our lives. On the other hand, positive attitudes bring prosperity into our lives. People prefer to help people with a positive attitude. Here are seven keys to living a positive life through positive thinking:

1. Get rid of old baggage

Free your mind from what happened in the past. Star living in the here and now. You cannot change the past and harboring ill feelings only keeps you stuck in a rut. You are unable to live a successful, fulfilled life because your baggage is weighing you down. Lighten the load; you may even lose some weight by doing that. Your mind must be free of worry or grudges in order to cultivate positive thoughts.

2. Positive Self-Talk

Most of us grew up in families where negative self-talk was the norm. You always talk bad about yourself even in joking with friends. Stop it now. Your subconscious mind believes everything that you say. Therefore, you will always do negative things to sabotage your success because that is all you program yourself to do on a daily basis. Start by looking in the mirror and telling yourself that you are somebody. You deserve to be successful. You are capable of doing, being and creating whatever you want. Whenever, a negative thought pops up in your head say, "thank you for sharing." Then, replace it immediately with a positive loving thought about your self. You will find that you start feeling good about yourself and then the possibilities are endless.

3. Stop complaining

Do you realize that the more you complain the worst the situation gets. That is because you are putting out negative energy. Whatever you put out is what you get. You know that what is sown is the exact thing that is reaped. You cannot plant apple seeds and expect to reap oranges. It doesn't work. The same law applies to our lives. Instead of complaining, thank God for allowing you to see that this is a temporary situation that you are passing through. You know that you will be stronger in the end. Whatever you focus on the most is what you create in your life. Therefore, focus on joy and peace you will find that no matter what happens, you will be quite calm. The journey through the particular situation is quicker and easier. I know, I am speaking from experience.

4. Be Thankful

Be thankful for everything, good and bad. Live every moment in a state of gratitude. I have heard many people say that everyone should be grateful for their bills. Yes, that's right. Obviously, you are enjoying the convenience of many things, including a roof over your head and food on the table. The bills are a sign that you have several things to be grateful for. You are much better off than some people. Think about the homeless people, they would love to have a place of their own and some bills. Here is another thought, your creditors believe in your ability to pay your bills. That is why they send you a monthly statement. Be grateful that you are able to pay your bills. Even if you are saying I can't pay my bills, be grateful and a way will appear. Once you are totally consumed in being thankful every moment of you life, you will see a shift in your life. You will begin to live in the abundance that is rightfully yours.

5. Be Accountable

Everyone needs someone who will help them to stay on track. It could be a coach, a mentor or even a family member. You should choose someone who is not afraid to tell you that you are out of line. Let the person know that you are working on living a positive life. You would appreciate being told of any negative thing that you may say or do. It is okay if you slip up. Don't beat up yourself. Simply, be grateful that you recognize the misstep and turn it in a positive step. You should have a regular session with that person to discuss the challenges and success that you have encountered while traveling the positive thinking path. It could be weekly or monthly; whatever is convenient for both of you. You will find that you growth is faster because you have someone cheering you on.

6. Affirmations

Start the practice of using daily affirmations to increase your self awareness. You need to start the day with a positive statement. So that no matter what happens during the day you can refer back to your affirmation to keep your thoughts positive. At the end of the day you should give thanks for yet another successful day. Even if you feel like a lot of things went wrong, you must still give thanks for remaining positive. You will find that doing this continuously will make it a part of you such that you will do it automatically each day.

7. Associations

How many times have you heard the statement, "show me your friends and I will tell you who you are"? Well, that statement is true throughout the ages. You are who you associate with. Your income, your mindset and your success will be on the same level as your associates. Therefore, you must associate with positive minded people in order to be positive. You need people around you who will support you in your efforts to live a positive lifestyle. The more you associate with positive successful people, the closer you get to your goal of having a totally positive mindset.

Once you follow these seven steps on a daily basis, you will develop a positive mindset. You will grow stronger mentally and you will set the stage for massive success in your life. You may even be an example to someone else who wants to change their lifestyle to one of positive living. Positive thinking definitely guarantees positive living and life of success. It is time to change you mindset.

© 2008 Raquel C. Smith, Values Alignment Coach

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Raquel C. Smith, "The Values Alignment Coach," publishes the transformational Golden Life Living' monthly ezine. If you're ready to transform your life into a golden life and start living the life of your destiny, get your FREE ebook now at http://www.goldenlifecoaching.com

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Positive Thinking - Why Change Your Habitual Thoughts

By Adelaide Kwaning

"Such as your habitual thoughts, such also will be the character of your mind; for the soul is dyed by the thoughts"-Marcus Aurelius

In other words, what Aurelius is saying is your thoughts become your actions and your actions your habits. Thus, if you want to change any habit, you must first start by changing your thoughts.

Psychologists and self help fanatics have long since been preaching this message. Yet, many people fail to heed this good advice. Perhaps it's because despite the fact that people want to plan, most folks are doers first and thinkers second. This wouldn't be a problem if the success of any action was not dependant on the motives behind it.

However, everything we do has some reasoning behind it even if we are unaware. The trouble is most people are just that-unaware. They are not conscious of the habitual thoughts that are making up their character.

For example, if you wanted to lose weight simply to appear more attractive then you have not tuned your mind for long term success. What happens after you lose the weight and you don't feel anymore attractive than you did before you lost it? Chances are you will go back to your old habits.

However, if you wanted to lose weight to become healthier and live a better lifestyle, you would then be training your mind for long term success. Because staying healthy, requires long term motivation.

Before you can create new habits and true success, you must change your attitude and thinking about whatever it is you want to accomplish. Change the way you think about something and you can change the way you feel about it. In most cases, this results in changing the actions that follow these feelings.

If you want to change your size, you have change the way you think about your body, not just your weight but your body as a whole. Your weight is merely a symptom of your habitual thoughts.

The same applies if you're in debt. Do not just change your spending habits, but change the way you think about money. Once again debt is a symptom: a consequence for the way you've been thinking about money.

In order to relieve yourself of any symptom - debt, obesity, low self esteem, whatever - you have to be ready and willing to convert your mind and commit your heart.

This, for many, is much harder than just running on a treadmill or doing affirmations in front of the mirror. Because changing your thoughts means you first have to admit that you have a problem. You need to become introspective and start having some serious conversations with yourself. While we can admit to not being perfect, not many people want to own up to their problems. But understand that you can have a problem without it damaging the amazing person you are.

You may be thousands of dollars in debt, but you're not a bad person. It's just that you have not learned how to develop your thinking so you can build a healthy relationship with money.

Same goes if you're an addict. You, as a human, are not bad, but you do have bad habits and this is probably the cause of bad thinking.

The number of resources for changing your thinking is plentiful. SmartSolutions-ezine, for example, works on encouraging people to work from the inside out, regardless of what you're facing. Because loving yourself enough to make the mental change, is the first step to true success.

Website: http://www.smartsolutions-ezine.com/you-smartsolutions.html
Adelaide Kwaning is an author and publisher. If you would like to learn how to develop positive, successful thinking visit her website today and subscribe to her newsletter http://www.SmartSolutions-ezine.com

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"How to Develop a Positive Attitude"

By Bryce Roadley

A. You Are What You Think.

Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary lists seven definitions for the word attitude. For our purposes, let's look at two:

1. A mental position with regard to a fact or state.

2. A [biological] state of readiness to respond in a characteristic way to a stimulus.

Notice that one definition deals with the psychological and the other looks at the biological.

In other words, our attitude encompasses both what we feel about - as author Douglas Adams calls it - "Life, the Universe and Everything," - as well as how we react to it all. So, even before we begin to ask questions about how to live a better life or how to improve our self-image or grow more prosperous, we must examine how each of us looks at this thing called "Our Life."

If we want to succeed, it's important to understand that how we set our life's compass - our attitude - will determine where we travel for the remainder of our journey.

Notice the two definitions above; the first assumes that attitude is a function of the brain. The second portrays a life in which the wellsprings of the mind flow into what we do physically, in other words, our habits, speech and even our health. Attitude is built from many materials, beginning with our genetic dispositions. That's right, Mum and Dad have some influence on how our brains grow and mature as well as what kind of neuro-chemicals are mixed together in our amazing skulls.

The problem with many self-help programs is that they are based on the assumption that attitude is totally dependent on will or some kind of iron discipline.

Of course, it is true that we are responsible for our thoughts and we must choose to respond to life -there will be more on that later.

For those who truly want to change, however, it is important to approach our attitude from the standpoint of understanding who we are and what genetic traits we have inherited from our forebears. Why? Once we understand what psychological and emotional factors we can attribute to our relatives, we can then approach real change armed with enough information for a reality check.

This is not an argument in favor of determinism (i.e. the notion of "I'm the way I am because of my parents and I can't do anything about it!").

Even if you grew up with two of the angriest parents to ever grace human society, you can still overcome such a temperament.

But, the important thing to understand is that you may possess the same traits.
By acknowledging your heritage, you can move forward knowing what pitfalls (courtesy of your genes) may await you.. Before we use a compass on a long journey, we should always make sure it's going to work properly.

Is it calibrated for true North? Just like a misaligned compass, our lives can become off-center because of our past.

Whether it's mental abuse by a loved one or a negative attitude we absorb from popular culture, any examination of attitude must start with introspection.

B. So, How Do You View Life?

Never had the soil of bitterness and anger been so fertile than it was in Nazi concentration camps in World War II.

Men, women and children who were deemed undesirable by Hitler's maniacal regime were shipped far from their homes on railway boxcars like human livestock to compounds built on humiliation, torture, degradation and usually death.

Starvation was the rule rather than the exception.

The few who survived physical death nevertheless left those camps mentally scarred.

For many, the experience changed their attitude irrevocably from happy, prosperous members of society to virtual skeletons that gnawed on the bones of resentment and hostility for the rest of their days.

It's certainly understandable that a person could change their attitude on life after witnessing such human depravity.

For Victor Frankl, however, attitude always remained a matter of unchangeable direction- a direction that always pointed to a bright outlook on reality and the human condition.

A noted Austrian therapist and physician, Frankl's sedate life crumbled one autumn day in 1942 when the SS snatched him and his wife and parents away to the Theresienstadt concentration camp.

Even as he endured torment after torment - watching his parents and wife waste away and die as they were moved from camp to camp - Frankl never lost his therapist's ability to observe and define human behavior.

While working as a camp counselor and medical technician, Frankl noticed that inmates tended to exhibit one of two attitudes.

They would either give in to despair or they would choose to live a life of meaning despite the beatings, lack of food and outright brutality of their captors.

Frankl writes:

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

In short, our attitude is the one thing we possess that can never be regulated, taxed, stolen or conned from us - unless we allow it be.

Bryce Roadley is an author, speaker and business mentor. He has spent the last 27 years in business and has trained and mentored thousands of people. He has built a number of million dollar businesses and one multi-million dollar business with over 70,000 distributor's, he recently sold that business and is dedicating his life to sharing his principles of success with people world wide. http://www.wealthwithattitude.com

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How Positive Emotions Affect Your Health

By Aseya Me

Our perception and response to our environment and community plays influences our mindset, behavior, and perception about other people and the world we live in. We can be pessimistic, allowing gloom and negativity to haunt our every waking hour; or we can choose to be optimistic and see our stress and anxiety as normal human reaction to life's challenges. But there is more to human response to stress and anxiety than just having a "bad day." Our disposition not only affects our behavior but the state of our health, as well.

Extensive research has shown that people who are are suffering from depression and anxiety are at greater risk of having heart disease and other illnesses. Further studies also proved that people who are under extreme prolonged stress are more susceptible to infections like the flu and the viral cold.

In recent years, researches have reinforced the theory that the human mind plays a major role in influencing the way that our body works. Attitudes and emotions directly impact health and well-being. Being too negative in terms of one's thoughts or emotions somehow weaken an individual's immune system, which also confirms the mind-and-body link of health and well-being. The same study showed that people who are more optimistic have a 50% lower risk of untimely death than those who are pessimistic. Aside from a lower risk of premature death, having a positive attitude increases a person's energy and ability to handle life's difficulties. Having a positive attitude helps us deal with emotional pain and helps us attain peace, calm, and joy.

Although we cannot will ourselves to feel positive all the time, a number of techniques can be learned to help us reduce the impact of stress and anxiety. Using relaxation techniques based on Western, Eastern, and other traditional forms of meditation can help us reclaim a positive outlook. These techniques not only alleviate but also prevent psychological problems such as depression, anxiety attacks, aggression, and other stress-related illnesses like chronic pain, tension headaches,and hypertension.

The following are some of the useful methods that promote peace and relaxation:

- Visual Imagery – It involves visualizing oneself in the midst of a soothing and peaceful scene--- a forest, a beach, a stream, a lake, or being in the mountains. The important thing is that you visualize a scene that is beautiful and calm. Aside from picturing nature scenes in your head, you could also try recalling a special, happy moment in your life. The practice of visualization slows down the heart rate and breathing patterns.

- Meditation – This requires concentration or focusing one's thoughts. It is a often referred to as the act of "emptying one's thoughts of all negative thoughts and emotions." Meditation helps cultivate calmness and promotes the development of new and fresh insights into a problem and about life itself.

- Exercise – A good relaxation therapy that is mixed with physical exercise is called isometric squeeze technique. This technique is used as part of a systematic desensitization therapy for people who suffer from anxiety and panic disorders. The technique entails the application of alternate tension and relaxation on the body's 16 different muscle groups.

There are other practical steps towards building a more positive life. These steps include the following:

1. Reduce Stress
2. Get Plenty of Rest
3. Get Organized
4. Exercise
5. Eat Well

By cultivating a more positive attitude and frame of mind, we can overcome life's many challenges. Having a calm disposition entails the development of a coping mechanism that enables as to face life's many obstacles and occasional heartaches. Through the application of stress management techniques and a commitment to overcome one's personal problems, life can be more meaningful, worthwhile, and of course, happy as happy can be.

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Change Your Attitude To Change Your Actions

By Rena Williams

Today let's put our focus on attitudes and how they make a huge difference in our daily lives. The old saying "you need to change your attitude" has more meaning than anyone can ever convey.

If you have been a partaker of personal development for any length of time, then I'm sure this is not something new to you. But do you really get just how important the role of your attitude play in your life?

Your actions affect your attitude and your attitude determines your actions. When you get the two working together in harmony, powerful things will indeed begin to take place in your life.

A small positive action can often times make a huge positive difference on your outlook of life. You can get momentum going by even making quick and simple shift.

By the same token, a small positive shift in your attitude can encourage you to take action when previously you were not inclined to do so. Just a brief empowering thought can get you moving forward in the right direction.

What if you cannot quite bring yourself to take action? Then the very least you can do is convince yourself to carry a more positive attitude. Remember, thinking doesn't require any physical effort what so ever. Before long that positive attitude will surely lead you to take action.

Maybe you find yourself resisting a positive attitude all together. If you will begin to take small beneficial actions you will be amazed how soon that will lead you to a more positive attitude.

Whether it's through your actions or through your attitude, there's always a way to introduce a more affirmative perspective into your life. When you change you thoughts, you change your life. So stay focused on the positive possibilities and watch your life become more richly rewarding.

Rena Williams resides in Florida as a Lifestyle Mentor and a successful entrepreneur. She delights in helping many achieve great levels of success through free mentoring and guidance. Take advantage of many free resources by visiting http://www.yoursuccesscorner.com

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Positive Thinking Stories

By Munyaradzi Chinongoza

Sometimes people under estimate the power of positive thinking. You can use motivation and positive thinking to help achieve anything that you would like to achieve. Your goal could be losing weight, buying a house, get a new job, or anything you decide.

Here is an example of a positive thinking story. There was a guy named Joe who worked for a company and was trying to use that money to pay his bills and pay his way for post secondary education. Unfortunately one day something not too pleasant happened, he got fired from his job and he did not exactly know what the reason was.

However one day he found out that it was not that he was doing anything bad it is just that the company had to lay off a number of people and he happened to be one of them. After hearing this he was quite depressed however he was reading some positive thinking books which helped him change the way that he was feeling about his situation.

He realized that the job gave him good experience and something beneficial that he could add to his resume. He was motivated to find another job this time something that he knew would be permanent and maybe benefit him even more then the other one did. The best thing that happened to him was that within three weeks the job called him back to offer him a permanent position within the company.

This was definitely something positive. Sometimes you must realize that even though something bad happens in your life something positive is sure to follow if you stay positive. Remember that many people cruise through life not having a clue about what they want, and just simply react to what comes along, they either choose to accept it or reject it. It is up to you to choose what you want to do.

If you need more information on Positive Thinking Phrases, please visit our website: http://stepsofpositivethinking.com/

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Attitude Is Everything

By Ryan Eliason

Have you heard the saying, "Attitude Is Everything"? While attitude might not really be "everything", it is the single most significant determining factor of success in many situations. Here's how it works:

Change your attitude and you automatically change:

1. your perspective
2. the way you interpret things
3. the decisions you make
4. the actions you take
5. the results you get

Changing your attitude can get you there more quickly, but it can also get you there in style, enjoying the ride more fully. This ShortCut is for everyone, because even if you have a great attitude already, it could always be better. It doesn't matter if you have a little goal or a massive dream, a small annoyance or a huge problem, shifting your attitude will help, and it might just radically transform your situation.

People tend to think of an attitude as being simply positive or negative. However, there are infinite possibilities such as: warm, friendly, confident, determined, unstoppable, silly, playful, easy-going, outrageous, peaceful, open-minded, compassionate, optimistic, and all of their negative counterparts. You can ultimately become very creative and experiment with different attitudes for different situations, which will lead you to being more powerful and effective.

Here's the problem. We often think it's hard or impossible to change our attitudes, so we don't try. The truth is that it's easy to change your attitude, if you know how.

Another big problem is that we tend to think our attitude is born of the situation. We think our attitude is the right attitude for the way things are. Therefore, our attitude goes unexamined and unquestioned. Almost everybody is guilty of this, however, our attitude is completely optional and flexible. It is possible to have any attitude in any situation, and there are no ultimate "right" attitudes for particular situations.

We also tend to think of our attitudes as part of our identities. We think, "It's just the way I am." We tend to think of our personalities as static things. In fact, when faced with a new challenge or situation, we make split second decisions about how to respond, and what attitude to adopt, based on our idea of "who we think we are". In this way, we perpetually re-create our attitudes, whether they be negative and disempowering or positive and self-empowering. While our personalities, and the attitudes that go with them, may appear to be somewhat static, they only appear that way because we keep making the same choices (often unconsciously) over and over again, moment to moment. The truth is that you can change "who you're being", and you can change your attitude, at any moment.

How To Shift Your Attitude

Intention: Decide what attitude you want to have, then set your intention to adopt that attitude. Frequently, this is all that is necessary to shift your attitude dramatically.

Break Your Pattern: If you catch yourself with a bad attitude, it can be useful to do something radical and surprising to break your pattern: jump up and down, dance in a circle, poor ice water over your head, sing at the top of your lungs, whistle a silly tune, put on some great music, or whatever to break your pattern. Then create a fresh attitude.

Role Models: Find people who are getting the kinds of results you would like to be getting. Watch them carefully to see what kind of attitude they have and how they express that attitude. Copy them.

Surround Yourself With Positive People: Attitudes are contagious. Who you surround yourself with and spend time with is probably influencing your attitudes way more than you are consciously aware. Enough said.

Ask Better Questions: We are constantly asking ourselves questions. Most of the time this is not a very conscious process. For example, something bad happens and we ask ourselves, "Why me?" Our minds start to find answers to that question, effectively building a case for why bad things happen to us, leading to a bad attitude, leading to more bad things happening. Make a list of the most empowering questions you can think of, and ask those instead. The possibilities are infinite.

Here are a few to get you started:

1) How can I turn this problem into an opportunity?,

2) What would I do if I was already very successful?,

3) Who do I need to be to achieve my dream?,

4) What would my future (successful) self do?

Fake It Till You Make It: If adopting a new attitude feels difficult or awkward, just fake it till you make it. It really works. Act as if you have that attitude. Walk like someone with that attitude. Talk like they would talk. Breathe like they would breathe. Make the decisions they would make, etc.

Expose Yourself To Empowering Messages: Feeding your mind positive messages on a regular basis can really impact your attitude. You can read books, listen to recordings, go to seminars, etc.

Meditation: One of the things meditation is great for is supporting you to slow down and notice that your personality is not so static. Your personality, and the attitudes that accompany it, are something that you generate from moment to moment. This is an empowering realization.

Play With Perspectives: If you have a problem or a goal that you're not making enough progress on, it can be useful to play with perspectives. This loosens up your attitude, and helps you discover new possible attitudes. Get creative and try looking at your situation from several different perspectives. For example, you can ask yourself:

1) What would a child's perspective be?,

2) An elders?,

3) How would I approach this if I knew I could not fail,

4) What would Jesus/Buddha do?,

5) What would be the CEO's perspective?,

6) What would an expert think?,

7) What is the customer's perspective,

8) What would be the perspective of a wealthy person?,

9) A poor person,

10) What would (person you admire) do?,

11) What would my future self say?, etc... the possibilities are endless.

Give Up Reasons and Excuses: This is a big one. We tend to stubbornly hold on to our attitudes. They become habits. We learn to justify them. We have reasons and excuses for them. You can choose to give up all of your reasons and excuses. Just give them up. Would you rather have your reasons and excuses, or would you rather get results?

Reminders: Write the attitude you want to adopt on a post-it note and put it
somewhere so that you'll see it regularly. Ask a friend to remind you. Set an alarm that goes off every hour, etc. You get the idea.

Change Your Belief: If the above techniques don't work, you probably have an underlying negative belief that needs changing. For example, imagine a woman who believes all men are lying cheats. She would have a very hard time trying to create a positive attitude about dating. The above techniques will work to change most negative beliefs, but sometimes changing a stubborn belief requires stronger measures. However, that is the topic of a future article.

Exercise - Creating An Empowering Attitude

Step 1: Choose either a goal that you are having trouble achieving, or a stubborn problem that won't seem to go away. Write it down.

Step 2: Write down your current attitude or attitudes about this goal or problem

Step 3: Decide what attitude you want to have. Write it down. If choosing a new attitude is not easy, use the above technique: "Play With Perspective" to explore new possibilities.

Step 4: Set your intention to adopt the new attitude. Choose one or more of the above techniques to support you in adopting the new attitude. Write down the technique(s) you will use.

For more articles by Ryan Eliason click here.

Ryan Eliason has been a professional, full-time Life and Business Coach since 2003, successfully supporting hundreds of clients to produce extraordinary results in their businesses and personal lives. An entrepreneur since a young age, Ryan has founded several successful businesses and a non-profit. He developed his unique approach through 15 years of business consulting, designing and leading workshops, and working with both coaching and therapy clients. He received his formal training with the renowned Coaches Training Institute in San Rafael, California. He is also a certified Master Hypnotist, massage therapist, polarity therapist, and Transformational Therapist through the Heartwood Institute.

Ryan publishes a popular FREE monthly eLetter, ShortCuts To Success, with strategies to get everything you want in business and in life, quicker and with less effort. You can learn more about Ryan and sign up for his eLetter at: http://www.ryaneliason.com

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The Value of Positive Emotions and Thoughts

By Mary Ann Copson

Thinking and emotion go hand in hand. A negative mood activates negative thinking and a positive mood activates positive thinking. Does it matter if you are in a negative mood thinking negative thoughts or in a positive mood thinking positive thoughts? Is one better than the other? Is there value in thinking and feeling positive?

Emotions Have Evolutionary Value

Negative emotions have evolutionary value. Negative emotions like fear, loss, and aggression activate the flight or fight response. When we experience negative emotions, we have a feeling of aversion, which sets us on course to identify what is wrong and eliminate it. Negative emotions and thinking are associated with a survival alert that activates a reaction to fight, flight or conserve - each reaction with obvious evolutionary value.

Positive emotions also have evolutionary advantage. They "broaden and build." Experiencing positive emotions increases our survival chances because positive emotions broaden our intellectual, physical, and social resources and build reserves for us to draw upon.

Experiencing positive emotions increases our drive for exploration and discovery and provides the basis for positive social interactions. When we experience positive emotions, we become more tolerant, expansive, and creative. The more positive emotion we experience the more open to new ideas and new experiences we become.

Negative emotions narrow our perspective to focus only on the immediate threat. When negative emotions are experienced, we withdraw, freeze, or protect. As we experience positive emotions, we feel safe and engage in active, playful exploration, and discovery. Negative emotions contract and positive emotions expand.

Positive emotions form the experiential foundation for mentally healthy people. Positive emotions provide a foundation for growth and exploration and build the intellectual, social, and physical capital for further growth and development.

When we experience negative emotions, they tell us to deal with what is wrong and eliminate it. When we experience positive emotions, we start looking for the virtues of what is happening. We become constructive, generous, un-defensive, and open to seeing possibilities.

Experiencing positive emotions gives us an entirely different way of thinking from a negative mood. A negative mood makes us attentive to threats in our environment and focuses our thoughts on protection. A positive mood moves us into thoughts about growth and development, exploration and discovery.

Positive Emotions Build Resources and Capital for the Future

Positive emotions build the resources and capital that will become the basis for growth and development in years to come. When we feel and think positive, we reach outward and broaden our resources through exploration and discovery. We are more creative, think quicker, and do not succumb to premature closure or other forms of superficial intellectual processing.

Depressed people experience what is called a "downward spiral" of negative emotions. Depressed emotions call forth negative memories that feed more negative thoughts, that feed more negative memories, that feed more depressed emotions. Breaking this downward spiral is crucial to stopping the depression.

Psychologists have found what they call an upward spiral of positive emotion. Positive emotions produce a different way of thinking and acting. The thinking becomes creative and broad-minded, and the actions become adventurous and exploratory. This increased creativity and exploration results in greater expansion.

Often negative emotions and thinking are taken more seriously because traditionally they have been believed to be the evolutionary backbone of human motivation. It was believed that people are motivated primarily to avoid experiencing negative emotions and that positive motivation was merely superficial.

But positive emotions are just as real, authentic and important as negative emotions and are equally important for development, growth, and success.
Positive Emotions Lead to More Successful Interactions in the World
Experiencing more positive emotion results in more friendships, stronger love, better physical health, and more successful interactions in the world accompanied by a sense of mastery. Growth, positive development, and creative and successful interactions in the world (i.e. mental health) may have their foundations in the experience of positive emotions and thinking.

Happy people tend to view themselves subjectively as more successful in the world. Happy people remember more good events than actually happened and forget more of the bad events that happened Happy people see success as lasting, personal and pervasive and failure as impersonal, temporary and specific. Happy people may lose a bit of realism but this does not lock them into ineffective functioning. Happy people are more likely to switch tactics when involved in a task that appears to be failing. In the normal course of events, happy people rely on their tried and true positive past experiences while less happy people are more skeptical. However, when events are threatening, happy people, more readily than less happy people, switch tactics and adopt a skeptical and analytical frame of mind. Happy people seem to deal better with adversity.

Happier people are markedly more satisfied with their jobs than less happy people. Happiness increases productivity and results in higher income. Happiness also makes gainful employment and higher income more likely. Adults and children who are in a good mood select higher goals, perform better, and persist longer on a variety of tasks.

Happy People Are Healthier

Positive emotions result in better physical health. Positive emotions predict health and longevity and protect people from the wear and tear of aging. Positive emotions strongly predict who lives longer, who dies earlier, and who will become disabled. Happy people seek out and make use of more health risk information. Happy people have better health habits, lower blood pressure, and stronger immune systems than less happy people. They endure pain better and take more health and safety precautions when threatened. Positive emotions and thinking prolong life and improve health. Happy People Are More Connected With Others

Very happy people differ markedly from average people and from unhappy people in one principle way - a rich and fulfilling social life and more secure relationships. Happy people have more close and casual friends, are more likely to be married, and are more involved in group activities than unhappy people. Happy people are also more altruistic. When we are in a good mood we are less focused on ourselves, we like others more and we want to be kinder and share our good fortune with others. However, when we are experiencing negative emotions and thinking we become distrustful, turn inward and become defensive about our own needs.

Focusing on Positive Emotions

Positive emotions undo negative emotions and reduce the negative physical and psychological stresses of negative experiences. Negative emotions tell you that you are facing a win-loss encounter and need to take steps to engage with the obstacles. Positive emotions and thinking allow you to see a potential win-win situation.

Positive emotions and thinking guide you to be more expansive, tolerant, and creative and maximize the social, intellectual, and physical benefits of the situation. Positive emotions and thoughts provide both the fuel and the raw material for experiencing more growth and development, more exploration and discovery, more mastery and successful interactions in the world. So, yes, there is a great deal of value in feeling good and positive thinking. Go for it!

Copyright (c) 2007 Mary Ann Copson

Mary Ann Copson is the founder of the Evenstar Mood & Energy Wellness Center. With Master's Degrees in Human Development and Psychology and Counseling, Mary Ann is a Certified Licensed Nutritionist; Certified Holistic Health Practitioner; Brain Chemistry Profile Clinician; and a Health, Wellness and Lifestyle Coach. Reconnect to your physical, emotional, mental, psychological and spiritual natural rhythms at http://evenstaronline.com

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The Power of Positivity

By Tom Haynes

Many people want to improve their lives. They want things to be better, to come easier. They want all the things they hear other people talk about…money, happiness, health, freedom, and more. Many of them read and read and read but they never quite know where to start.

The best place to start is your own attitude. You need to focus on being positive! Why?

Being positive is a big key to being excited. And life is so much better when you are excited! And when you are positive and excited, you are sending a powerful signal to everyone, to life the universe and everything, that this is how you are and what you expect of it. You will then begin to naturally attract more people, things, and events to keep you positive. You are simply leading by example.

Be careful, because it works the other way too. If you are a complainer, a whiner, or a gossiper you will naturally attract other people who like to complain, whine, and gossip. And when was the last time you saw one of these people be truly successful? You set the tone for the people around you. If you are positive when everyone else is negative you will either raise the group to your level or a new group will form around that attitude. People like being around positive people.

Being positive is also a key to staying motivated. Most people can get themselves motivated for a little while. A couple of hours, a few days, maybe even a month or two. Any real level of success requires you to keep going for years and that is much harder. By keeping positive and setting the example of what you expect of everyone around you, your positivity will keep you motivated when nothing else will. You’ll see the silver lining in clouds, the opportunity in setbacks, and the potential of the people around you when even they do not.

When you are in a leadership position, it is of course all the more important to set the example of a positive attitude. Here, you are clearly more responsible for setting the tone of your own environment. Remember to reward and praise positivity on your team. Don’t let meetings or even just the normal workday become a complaint session. Once it starts it is hard to stop, so make sure you are encouraging the right attitudes. Talk to your people when you are feeling positive, excited, and enthusiastic. Avoid holding meetings with them when you are not feeling that way. If you just aren’t feeling it, there is an old saying "fake it till you make it". If you ACT positive and enthusiastic you can’t help but feel that way after a while.

Don’t expect perfection on your new policy of positivity, either. Everyone gets down, depressed, discourage and that’s ok. One of the easiest ways to fail is to expect everything to go right 100% of the time, so allow some room for you to be a normal person. Don’t let yourself get bogged down in these problems, solve them and move on.

If you hit a roadblock you just can’t get past, try a different route and stay positive. At the very least you learned a great lesson about how NOT to do it. Thomas Edison was famous for having tried 10,000 different ways of making the first lightbulb. But he never allowed himself to think of these as failures…he just learned different ways to not make it and eventually he just narrowed it down!

If you let yourself fall back into bad attitudes, you are almost guaranteeing failure…no amount of smarts, talent, creativity, or good looks will help.

Don’t let other people change you. Many people have chosen their little rut. They are happy and content…so long as no-one reminds them that they are indeed in a rut. If you start to succeed, they will naturally try to pull you back down so they are not reminded of their own failures. Man promising people fall victim to this peculiar habit of people.

Always remember that 90% of winning is having a positive attitude, and that is 100% in your control!

Tom Haynes has worked with sales, management, and not-for-profit for companies, helping their staff set goals, increase productivity, exceed expectations, and manage their human resources. He is the owner of E-Motivate.com, a site dedicated to http://www.ArticleBiz.com

The Secrets of Thought Power

By Duncan Sequeira

We have been told that if we keep positive, think positive then we can create the life of our dreams, with the power of thought. How easy is that? Have you seen how quickly thoughts whiz through our minds.

Have you tried to monitor your thoughts? If you have, then you will know how fast they move through us. We have thousands of thoughts a day. It would be extraordinarily difficult to watch and direct all of our thoughts all of the time.

One minute they are here, next they have gone. Only to be replaced by other thoughts. Most of us in the West, suffer from a kind of mental diarrhea. This over active mind is sometimes called 'monkey mind'. Like a monkey jumping from branch to branch, our thoughts flit from subject to subject.

It takes extraordinary control and perhaps a very inactive life to get to the stage where we are in total control of our thoughts. Yet there is truth to the teaching that our thoughts create our lives.

But how can we have control over our thoughts?. They are too fluid, fast and ferocious for us to get a handle and take sovereignty over them. There is however, a way to indirectly control our thoughts....it is a powerfully effective way..

The key to our destiny lies in our emotions. Emotions are slower in vibration than our thoughts. We FEEL emotions, they linger, they are longer lived than thoughts. But more extraordinary, they have an impact on our thoughts. They dictate the kind and quality of our thoughts. You could say that they give our thoughts, WINGS.

You can prove the power of emotions yourself... very easily. What happens when you fall in love? The world looks different. Your thoughts automatically become positive. You see the good in the object of your love and you can even see the good in others. Nothing seems to fluster you. You feel buoyant and able to overcome whatever life presents you. And, intriguingly, your thoughts are positive, without you even trying to make them positive. You are in a positive groove.

Good feelings lead to positive thoughts. And because energy follows thoughts,when you FEEL good and happy, you start thinking happy, victorious thoughts. Happy thoughts are like seeds you plant. They start to grow and through the law of affinity, they start to resonate with all other positive thoughts around the world.

Your initial 'seed', the good thought, starts to grow and grow and grow and resonate, resonate, resonate with all the good thoughts around the globe. Then you find that you become inundated with positivity. This positivity goes a long way to drawing the people, events, objects to us, that will enable us to realise our dreams.

So, by being aware of the feelings we are entertaining, by being present and sensing how we are feeling, and switching our feelings to a more joyous, happier frequency, we start to change our thoughts and our DESTINY.

Duncan Sequeira lives in London with his daughter and dog Daria. He is fascinated by the impact our inner life has on our personal and business life.He is passionate about health and wellbeing. He helps people build a global business from home. Find out more by checking his site http://www.pukkahealth.com

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